Girl children considered a burden
NEW DELHI (TrustLaw) - Almost four years ago, when I was pregnant with my child, I came to understand first-hand how deeply the issue of gender permeates much of Indian society.
From day one, my unborn child was under the scrutiny of many I came across, from my neighbour to beggars on the roadsides of this bustling capital -- each praying that my baby would be a boy.
"I will distribute sweets to the entire neighbourhood if you have a boy," said my wealthy neighbour who owned a call centre company in the suburbs. Others had an ulterior motive for blessing me with a boy.
"Please give me some rupees," the pig-tailed little girl in ragged clothes would say every morning as she knocked on my taxi's window when it stopped at a traffic light on my way to work. "God will bless you with a son," she used to say, looking down at my ever expanding pregnant belly.
In this conservative patriarchal society, no one asks if you want a boy or girl. It is taken for granted. A son will carry on the family name, become the breadwinner, look after you when you are old and, for some faiths, ensure your soul's salvation after death by performing your last rites.
For many Indians, girls are a burden you can do without.
First, you have to worry about protecting their chastity. Most Indians believe a woman should be a virgin at the time of marriage.
Then you have to pay for their upkeep -- feed, clothe and educate them. And, all for what? For them to get married and contribute to another household.
But most importantly, if you have a daughter you will most likely have to pay a substantial dowry to get her married off, despite the practice being banned.
"People see a daughter as a wasted expenditure ... it's like watering your neighbour's plant," said one gender rights activist.
Some are so desperate for a boy that they will risk their own health and that of their baby's, choosing to deliver at home with no medical help rather than in a clinic where there have been reports that newborn boys are stolen or switched for girls.
"I have given birth to all my children at home," said Najma, my maid, who is a mother of four girls. "Each time, I thought it was a boy and didn't want to risk the clinic stealing it."
SEX TEST TABOO
In India, curious soon-to-be parents cannot just pop in to see their obstetrician for a quick ultrasound to know whether they should buy pink or blue booties.
Sex determination tests have been outlawed in India since 1994, as many parents and doctors will abort a girl. Signs outside hospital radiology departments warn you that disclosing the gender of your baby is a crime and you are made to sign forms pledging you will not ask the sex of your child.
During the ultrasound, the sonographer slides the transducer across your gel-covered bulge -- careful not to move it too near the foetus' developing sex organs in case you spot something you should not in the fuzzy black and white image. But despite sex determination tests being illegal, the United Nations says 2,000 female foetuses are illegally aborted every day, leading to skewed sex ratios in many parts of the country.
"It's so easy to find out, you just pay them some money and even the most reputable hospitals will tell you," said a friend whose wife recently gave birth at a top New Delhi hospital.
Sex selective abortions are a lucrative business here.
Over the years, reporting on doctors dumping unborn baby girls in dry wells or hiding foetuses in the septic tanks of their clinics -- while having had a child growing inside me -- has given me a deeper perspective on women's rights. Female foeticide is the denial of the most basic right -- a woman's right to life.
In a country where so many daughters are missing due to female foeticide, I had secretly harboured the desire for a girl.
And yet while I gave birth to my son, Shaurya -- who is now three years old -- I hope to raise him to respect and fight injustices against women in this deeply patriarchal society.
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