In Space Between Genders a Seahorse Emerges

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Pronoun Preferences "The middle ground must pose problems for you," I said, emboldened by Bec's frankness. "I notice people refer to you with both pronouns. Do you have a preference?" "I do prefer 'he,' " Bec said. "But 'she' is easier and makes the most sense to a lot of people. So, really, either is fine." I was one of those people for whom it was easier. It had taken me so many months to pose such a simple question, but underneath my inclination to ask was the willingness to let go of the rules and reconfigure a training so ingrained it felt hardwired. And this was not simple. Allowing a person to make a choice, especially a confusing choice like linking "Rebecca" with "he," threatened the entire foundation of gender as permanent, given and obvious. This might've still been scary had I not felt so free. I wanted to refer to Bec as "he," his clear preference, and to uncover terms like genderqueer and middle ground that articulated what I thought I could see but not explain--that there were more identities and people under the category of transgender than just transsexuals, those who transition from female to male or from male to female, making those other terms real. Making them possibilities for me. "Were you always this comfortable with yourself?" I sputtered with incredulous reverence. "Or was it a process for you?" A smile opened on Bec's porcelain face and he crossed his legs effeminately. "Oh, it was a process," he said. "A metamorphosis. Although I don't know what I'm metamorphing into." Excerpt from "Nina Here Nor There" by Nick Krieger. Copyright 2011 by Nick Krieger. Reprinted by permission of Beacon Press, Boston. http://www.powells.com/partner/34289/biblio/9780807000922?p_ti