* Any views expressed in this article are those of the author and not of Thomson Reuters Foundation.
There are many taboos around sex and sexuality: everything from masturbation to condom use, from sex before marriage to abortion. These taboos are reinforced by religion, politics and other social pressures. They often get in the way of tackling global health concerns, with people preferring to suffer in silence and avoid shame rather than seeking help.
Love Matters, a project of Radio Netherlands Worldwide, wanted to find a way to give people the information they need to make the best decisions about their sexual health. We soon realized that these huge taboos represented a significant opportunity.
The taboo around talking about sexual pleasure is a clear example.
The popularity of porn proves that sexual pleasure is a very effective way to engage people online. The problem with porn is, that it tends to focus mainly on male pleasure – often at the expense of women. It also regularly ignores safety issues, while failing to highlight potential health implications.
At the other end of the spectrum, sexual and reproductive health organizations focus almost solely on disease and risk reduction during sex. They avoid talking about popular sexual practices and shun pleasure, even though pleasure is a key reason why people have sex in the first place. This approach is equally flawed.
Rather than using secrecy, silence and shame to prevent people from having (risky) sex, why not talk to them about their pleasure and use this as a way to talk about a whole range of other things including sexual health and rights.
At Love Matters we use pleasure as a hook to have difficult conversations with millions of men and women around the globe.
So far we have around 75 million page views. A large percentage of people enter our site via a pleasure topic. But from there, the average visitor browses at least three other pages relating to other subjects, including risk reduction and disease prevention. We can see that pleasure acts as a welcome mat to engage a much wider audience on issues of sexual and reproductive health and rights (SRHR).
Now, combine this pleasure-based approach with mobile phones. Mobiles offer people a private and anonymous way to get information. And we could see from Google analytics that the top subjects young adults are looking for online are to do with pleasure. Mobiles get around traditional gatekeepers such as teachers, governments and health workers who tend to block or ignore information relating to pleasure.
We give information online, which people can use offline to have healthier and happier relationships, offering tips to help people express their sexual and relationship desires, but also their fears. Love Matters found that by talking about pleasure you give people a way to talk about boundaries.
We get asked questions from our audience like:
“She cries when I have sex with her, should I stop?”
“Help, I’m pregnant. Should I tell my husband that I’m also HIV positive?
These young people are at a decision-making crossroads and in need of information. They do not see themselves as perpetrators of sexual violence or as human rights abusers, so it’s important to use language that encourages them to make well-informed decisions.
Yes, pleasure is controversial and, yes, pleasure rarely gets funded. But ignoring it is a missed opportunity.
By learning from both the successes of porn sites, as well as the difficulties that SRHR organizations have in connecting with their audiences, we created a taboo-free zone where learning is possible without the fear of judgment.
Love Matters platforms have now been rolled out in seven countries and in five languages. It is an approach that can be used in any part of the world in partnerships with a range of SRHR organizations. The content is tailored to meet the context and technology of the region.
No two Love Matters platforms are the same: our local staff ensure this. But the lessons we have learned about the effectiveness of addressing pleasure when educating about sex? These are universal.
Michele Ernsting is Head of Themes and Projects at Radio Netherlands Worldwide.
